1 Απριλίου 2015

Στο CERN Ανακάλυψαν Τη Δύναμη (Και Τερμάτισαν Την Πρωταπριλιά)

light-sabre

CERN announced today the first unequivocal evidence for the Force. “Very impressive, this result is,” said a diminutive green spokesperson for the laboratory.

Φανταστικοί. Εκεί στο CERN τους δίνουμε περίπου 2 ευρώ το χρόνο ο καθένας, και όχι μόνο ανακαλύπτουν μποζόνια και ξεκλειδώνουν τα μυστικά του σύμπαντος, αλλά μας κάνουν και να γελάμε. Δίκαιη ανταλλαγή.

Η σημερινή πρωταπριλιάτικη ανακοίνωση είναι η χαρά του Star Wars geek. Να μερικά χαρακτηριστικά αποσπάσματα:

“The Force is what gives a particle physicist his powers,” said CERN theorist Ben Kenobi of the University of Mos Eisley, Tatooine. “It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us; and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together.”

Δώστε κι άλλες τέτοιες ατάκες στο λαό.

Kenobi says he first started teaching the ways of the Force to a young lady who was having trouble revising for her particle-physics exams. "She said that I was her only hope," says Kenobi.

In CERN we trust.

Kenobi's seminal paper "May the Force be with EU" – a strong argument that his experiment should be built in Europe – persuaded the CERN Council to finance the installation of dozens of new R2 units for the CERN data centre*.

*Sources close to the Data Centre later revealed that these were not the droids they were looking for.

Πόσο θεούληδες;

But the research community is divided over the discovery. Dark-matter researcher Dave Vader was unimpressed, breathing heavily in disgust throughout the press conference announcing the results, and dismissing the cosmological implications of the Force with the quip "Asteroids do not concern me".

Ε ναι.

"We hope to continue to study the Force, and perhaps use it to open doors with our minds and fly around and stuff," said TIE experimentalist Fan Buoi. "Right now, to be honest, I don't really care how it works. The theory department have some crackpot idea about life forms called midi-chlorians, but frankly I think that poorly thought out explanations like that just detract from how cool the Force really is."

Υπάρχει κανείς που να του άρεσε στ' αλήθεια το Episode I;

With the research ongoing, many at CERN are already predicting that the Force will awaken later this year.

(#plzdontsuck)

Ολόκληρη η ανακοίνωση, με περισσότερες ατάκες και εμπλουτισμένη με φωτογραφίες φυσικών που παίζουν με τη Δύναμη, εδώ. Καλό μήνα.

Θυμήσου:
Το CERN θέλει να μάθουν όλοι τις ανακαλύψεις του
Να πώς μπορεί τελικά να φτιάξουμε αληθινά φωτόσπαθα
Πόσο αδικία ήταν που δεν πήρε Νόμπελ Φυσικής το CERN για το μποζόνιο Χιγκς

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